Procrastination: The Lazy Man’s Guide.
Before I get started, a little admission to the reader: Before writing this post, I was dreaming what to put in a column where I put, well, anything I want and my mind was creativity death valley. Now, in the same vein as many of the ventures in my life that have proved to be a little bit difficult, my mind instantly adopted the “fuck it, I’ll do it later (ergo, never)” approach. Laziness, ladies and gents. Laziness.
So, like the self-proclaimed genius that I am, my mind started thinking of how I can factor in my extreme talent for procrastination into a fully blown blog entry. So, after a long (short) deductive process that I have named 2and2 syndrome, I came up with an idea that even rivals the concept of putting ninety-nine red balloons in the same space: write a blog about laziness. More precisely, how it benefits society.
So industry leaders and business captains listen up, because I am going to lay down three facts* up-in-this-bitch.
*You see what I did there?
Efficiency
Efficiency: skilfulness in avoiding wasted time and effort; “she did the work with great efficiency”
As we can see from the above definition, the two factors we can extract from the term efficiency are time and effort. Therefore, if we are prepared to accept a lazy, procrastination inspired, desired outcome, no effort is wasted and ANY time contributed is a massive over-performance on original estimations. What we in the management profession refer to as a “win-win” (or whatever the kids say these days. My guess would be “victory-victory”, but I could be wrong).
Yes sir, you win too.
Profit
As silly as it might sound, it is possible to experience and increase in fiscal performance while adopting the “ignore it and it goes away” approach. For any high-flying doctors out there, leaving a patient to fend for themselves not only guarantees that the health insurance will keep paying (because actually healing them IS a little financially backwards. Ethics be damned, you’re after a return investment) but also means that if a patient drops off the metaphorical cliff (or the actual cliff if you live in a rugged area) you liberate that persons assets in the form of their will. The family win, the insurance company win, the hospital win and you may just too! And the best part of the plan is you hurt no-one, that’s the truck’s job.
Another suitable job the amateur procrastinator is the exciting, high-flying, job as a rent-boy/girl of the night. Seriously, the client even take the shirt of their own back just for your services while you just lie there rak(/p)ing it in.
SHAGGER
Fun
Let’s face it, not doing anything at all is better than doing someone else’s work for them. And, let’s face it, clients are like children. You could go and do something stupid like feeding them, but it’s so much easier just to drink whiskey and casually beat them if they make a sound. I mean, who’s going to help them? The government? Pah, I don’t think so. Also, they can scream all they want, the only one who’s going to come is you (if you are a “caring” parent).
"Don't say such sweet things, Timmy. You are tickling me pink" *wink*
Nope, nothing else like this here...Yet...
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Procrastination: The Lazy Man's Guide | Game Engine | Drakz Free Online Service on 02.06.2010
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